Singles, Surround Yourselves with Godly Men and Women
The years ahead of me are really exciting. I had just begun my journey on my young adult years, and time will come when I will court a woman (given that the Lord wants me to marry). I also can’t wait for my male friends to court a woman, and for my female friends to be courted by a man. So, it is now normal for me to hear from friends about their love lives.
Interestingly, I hear stories of my friends falling in love with an unbeliever. Mind you, these friends of mine are godly men and women, have served with me in the ministry, and have definitely heard countless messages on waiting for their perfect mate. Nevertheless, they are falling in love with an unbeliever. But why?
Let’s consider their backgrounds. These friends are either students or young professionals. Consequently, they spend numerous hours of time in school or in the office, surrounded by unbelieving classmates or officemates. Furthermore, due to busy schedules, they spend little time with believers.
That’s it! It’s not surprising that they fall in love with unbelievers. They are most of the time surrounded by them. So my counsel to them and to other singles? Surround yourself with godly men and women. They can at least make time to join fellowships and ministries where godly men and women abound.
So why do we—singles—want to surround ourselves with godly men and women? Second Timothy 2:22 says:
22So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart. (Emphasis added)
The verse tells us to “flee the evil desires of youth” (NIV1984) and pursue God-honoring virtues. And with whom should we do this? “With those who call on the Lord from a pure heart”—with Godly men and women.
What Church Leaders Can Do
I believe that church leaders, particularly those of singles and youth ministries, can help. In her blog at Desiring God, Carolyn McCulley writes:
So to help unmarried adults meet and marry well, the church needs to be proactive about creating contexts for singles to meet each other and live out dating relationships in the context of community. What that looks like will depend on many factors specific to local communities, which is why church elders need to lead and shape this process.1
I agree with McCulley. Singles ministries must create the context, or the community, where single men and women would meet together, serve with one another, and hopefully find their life partners. In my church, these communities already exist, though I also believe that more communities should be formed given the church’s high population of singles (I hope I’m not being ignorant of other communities).
Youth ministries can also help. It will be helpful that as early as the teenage years, these communities are created. I’m glad to say that I already belong to circles, or communities, comprising of youth leaders who are of my age as I do and are journeying with me as a young adult. But of course, the youth must be guided by the leaders (for more on this, read my blog Guiding the Youth into Godly Friendships).
I long to see these communities, where single men and women would thrive together. Hopefully, it is in these communities where these men and women find their future spouses.